What to Talk About on a First Date with a Girl
Going on a first date is nerve-racking. You're most likely a few days away from your date and starting to get nervy, or you're in the bathroom right now reading up on how to salvage a date you're currently on! Luckily, you've found the best guide on the internet for what to talk about on a first date with a girl.
If you implement any of these successfully, feel free to get in touch with the couples things to do team. We're not into relationship coaching, but a second opinion can't help!
Henry successfully wrangled a second date with Robyn, so he knows what goes into a successful first date, so stick around to learn how you can do it too (not with Robyn though 👀).
Introduction: What is the Purpose of a First Date?
A first date is a meeting between two people interested in each other. The purpose of the first date is to get to know each other and decide whether they want to go on a second date.
The first date can be a very nerve-racking experience for some people, but it doesn't have to be that way. You can do many things to make the first date go smoothly and make sure that it's enjoyable for both of you.
Henry says that a first date is very much like copywriting…
In copywriting, the purpose of any sentence is to get someone to read the next one. This is similar to dating (particularly the first date) - the purpose of any date should be to get to the next one.
If you're not looking for another date, then it may be worth letting that person know, so you're both on the same page. In this day and age, many people want to date for flings - which is fine if that's what you're into but make it known.
If you want a second date, then carry on reading to learn what to talk about on a first date with a girl.
Ideas For The Perfect Locations To Have A Successful First Date
We all have that one person in our life we are unsure how to impress. And when it comes to dating, a lot of people are unsure how to impress their date.
This is simply because it's hard. Being yourself while also remembering your manners and relaxing is tricky, particularly on a first date when you're trying to gauge someone.
Our date on a roof terrace in Oxford
Here are some ideas for the perfect places for your first date that aren't just a basic coffee shop. This is the first thing you’ll need to think about before even worrying about what to talk about on a first date with a girl:
The Beach: You can't go wrong with a stroll on the beach. Not only are there loads of activities to get up to, but you'll also have plenty to chat about to break the ice. When worrying about what to talk about on a first date with a girl, you want to put yourself in a position where you're set up to succeed - this includes being in an environment where you are bound to have fun, like the beach.
A Roof Garden: If you live in a capital city, you will likely have a roof garden near you. Roof gardens are a great spot to go to as you will have a casual place to get to know each other. What's more, you'll have a view over the city, which can act as a great conversation starter.
A Gym: If you're fitness freaks like us, you'll likely be on a date with someone who is too. While going to a gym on a first date may be weird for some, it serves as a great way to break the ice and get a sense of each other.
One reason this can be a great location to have a successful first date is that you can push each other out of your comfort zone. After the gym, you can go for dinner after already getting to know each other; giving you plenty of answers to what to talk about on a first date with a girl.A Restaurant: Yes, this is a classic, but for a good reason. Going to a casual restaurant and having a few drinks is the perfect place to go on a first date. Make sure you don't book somewhere too formal, or it may be a bit awkward; you want the perfect balance between great food, atmosphere and price.
We went to Digbeth Dining Club on our first date, as it had lots of food options and decent music, meaning we had plenty to talk about, and it wasn't too formal! Check out Digbeth Dining Club on our list of the best places to eat in Birmingham City Centre.Crazy Golf: Getting competitive is one of the best ways to have endless things to talk about on a first date with a girl. Not only will you have an activity to take your mind off any awkwardness, but you also will learn to see if you both have a similar appetite for activities.
When we went on a first date, we found Robyn has to be one of the worst crazy golf players on the planet, but she is also really competitive, which ticket Henry's boxes.
If you fancy pushing the boat out a bit more, check out our guide to the top 10 romantic places to visit in the UK.
What to talk about on a first date with a girl: 6 Topics and Tips
We've covered the best places to take a girl on a first date to avoid awkwardness. Below we've added 5 topics and tips to answer what to talk about on a first date with a girl.
Whether you started talking via online dating/dating sites, or in person, it's important to talk about the right things to keep the conversation flowing and not show any red flags.
#1 Talk About Her Childhood
You probably read in most of the other online guides that talking about previous dating history is a no-go, and we agree (as you'll see below). A great way to avoid this is by asking a girl about her childhood. You can do this by asking them about some of their favourite memories and so on. Ask about their childhood friends as well (what are their memories of them?).
This then opens up the conversation to talk about how you were as a kid. If you have any funny stories or even nostalgic memories, then you can share these. This conversation also leads to learning about each other's values and family - two things which are very important to us and served as a great thing to talk about on a first date with a girl.
As you will have seen in our guide on how to keep a conversation going with a girl over text, finding ways to get to know each other on a deeper level is key to determining compatibility and getting a second date.
#2 Surprise Her
Now onto our first tip of what to talk about on a first date with a girl. We recommend surprising her - this avoids being too predictable and making your first date like every other date she's been on.
Predictability is boring, so it's a good idea to keep things exciting with your date. Do this by telling her something she won't expect. For example, you may have an unusual hobby or fact about you that makes you unique. Henry's surprise on our first date was that he helped run a podcast with his friend Luis, below:
These little things are not only great things to talk about on a first date, but they also help set you apart. You should also keep in mind that she might be more comfortable talking to you after you've broken the ice with something interesting. She might also share her stories with you, that might surprise you and provide new topics to talk about.
#3 Share Your Bucket List
Bucket lists represent the goals we want to achieve at some point in our lives. Every person has their own, so feel free to bring it up by saying, "One of my bucket list items is ____" That should give her a better idea of who you are as a person.
Additionally, you will get to know more about each other and maybe find some common activities or interests on your bucket lists. This is a great opportunity to talk about what you want from your future (and give you an idea in the back of your mind whether you could do them together!)
For example, we spoke about how we both like to travel and find couples things to do (the kind of stuff only the locals know). That led to the origins of this blog!
Bucket lists are never a bad topic, and will answer help answer what to talk about on a first date with a girl.
#4 Your Family
You can often learn a lot about a person by getting to know how they see their family and the kind of things they do together.
If you want to have many more than the first date with each other, then family is going to be really really important, so ensure you're both on the same page on date number 1!
Talking about loved ones is something many people do when getting to know someone. It lets the other person see your sensitive side and why certain people mean so much to you. They can be anyone from family members like parents, siblings or cousins, friends or even distant relatives like an aunt or uncle – even a child you know well.
You don't even have to detail who they are; just mention a few family stories you've had recently.
By doing this, she will likely open up about her family, giving you little nuggets you can bring up on future dates to show you're interested.
#5 Holidays
We can confirm… going on holiday is much better than going to work.
Talking about your favourite holidays, future holiday wishes, and worst holidays is a great answer to what to talk about on a first date with a girl.
Choices of vacation define a lot about your personality. If someone picks places you would never want to visit, that could either be a good thing (as they'll push you out of your comfort zone) or be a sign that you're not compatible!
If you don't talk about holidays on the first couple of dates, and that's a really important thing to you, then why not get it out the way early!
#6 Life Goals
As we covered in our article titled "20 deep topics to talk about with your crush", getting straight into deep topics such as each other's life goals may be a great way to get to know each other.
For some people, this may be far too deep too early, so make sure you read the room!
People make a few common mistakes on first dates, particularly when discussing life goals. For example, talking about salaries, while this may be part of your life goals, just isn't a good direction to go.
Goal setting is important, but don't go on about it too much. This is something we are probably too guilty of!
What to avoid talking about on a first date with a girl
The first date is the most important one. It's the time to show your best and brightest self, to make a great first impression and to see if there is chemistry with this person. And we all know that anything can happen in a first date. So, it's better to be safe than sorry.
Here are some things you should avoid talking about on a first date:
Don't talk about your ex - Never, ever ever ever ever talk about your ex on a first date with a girl - even if the whole experience was awful. This will make you look like you're not properly over them and aren't ready to move on.
Money - Don't discuss personal finances is a rule that should never be broken on a first date with a girl. It can come across as either boastful or get unwanted attention if you mention how much or little you earn.
This is a mistake that finance bros can make (based upon feedback from our friends who date in London). Just avoid the topic and talk about their interests instead.Politics - Conversations about politics are often considered too heavy for a first date, and might make it difficult for there to be a second one. Just because you have strong opinions on the subject, doesn't mean your date needs to hear them (right away anyway!).
That being said, disagreeing on something isn't necessarily a bad thing; in fact, testing your ability to have a rational conversation together could be a good test!Religion - You may have a strong opinion about this topic, and it could become difficult to come up with arguments against. It's best to just leave it out.
That being said, if you're both religious, this could be a great conversation topic. That's why reading the room and gauging your first date's appetite for different conversations is a skill to be developed.Family Background - While we covered above that family can be a great topic to discuss, going too in-depth and covering things like their history or background can lead to uncomfortable conversations on a first date.
Sexual Experience - Talking about your sex life, sexual experience, and history is just a no-go on a first date. If you ever have this sort of conversation, it'll likely be after you've got to know each other on a much deeper level and want to take it to the next level.
Marriage - What to talk about on a first date with a girl? Don't bring up marriage or babies on the date. This will only scare your date away and should be talked about only after a significant amount of time has passed and that's on the agenda.
8 Conversation Topics That will Make Your Date Laugh
It is hard to think of funny conversation topics, but it is not impossible. So here are 8 funny conversation topics that will make your date laugh.
What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten? - We've all either been on a bad holiday where the food was awful, or we've eaten something for a dare. So show you're not too serious by sharing the weirdest thing you've ever eaten.
What's your favourite animal? - We're not fans of getting out phones at the table or a date, but getting social media out to show your favourite animal is never bad! As you saw in our dog tube guide, we love dogs!
Your most embarrassing moment - talking about embarrassing moments can be a great way to show you can be vulnerable and a soft side. If you never truly open up, it will be hard to make it to that second date and overcome what to talk about on a first date with a girl.
Talk about something that they wouldn't guess about you - By talking more about the more hidden side of you, it will allow your first date to understand you more and maybe get over some misconceptions.
Robyn had some misconceptions on our first date and talking about things she wouldn't even guess helped her get over those. For example, talking about charity work can surprise your date and help them see a different side of you.What you would do if money wasn't an option - When you talk about your dreams and fantasies, this often leads to topics that will make your date laugh. There's something about getting silly ideas out there that relaxes the mind and makes you feel closer to someone.
Sports you have both played - talking about sports is not only a great answer to what to talk about on a first date with a girl, but it's also bound to get them to laugh. Now, this doesn't mean talking about sports you've played right away - ask her first so she can share her experience.
Henry talking about rugby and football for ages isn't going to get anyone on a second date, let alone get them to laugh. But Robyn talking about representing GB frisbee and the stories from many walks in The Lake District certainly will.
Remember, little prompts and open-ended questions will show you're interested and reveal new things you never even knew about your first date.Three things you would take with you if you were stranded on a desert island - This is not only a deal breaker for many people (gotta make sure you're going into the zombie apocalypse with the right person 👀) but also a topic that will make your first date laugh.
The most spontaneous thing you've ever done - Sharing your spontaneous side is a great way to tease what could be to come, but you'll also get a good judge for the other person's comfort zone. If you're both at a similar level, you'll likely get many laughs and make it much more likely you'll get on that second date.
If you want some ideas for spontaneous things to do, check out our blog covering precisely that!
Remember, the best way to make your first date laugh is to relax. If you take them to one of the places we've listed above, avoid controversial conversation topics and remember just a couple of these funny conversation starters, you'll be much more likely to make it to a second date!
What to Talk About on a First Date with a Girl Conclusion
The first date is a chance for two people to get to know each other. It's also a great opportunity to get a feel for the person. They may be someone you want to see again, or they may not be the one for you.
We hope this article has helped you with some of your first date jitters. Remember that it's not about what you say, but how you say it and how your date perceives it. If they're into you, you'll likely have a bit more margin to error than otherwise!
If you have any questions or we've missed anything off our list, then get in touch. Once you've gotten past your first date, use our blog to find the best couple things to do across the UK.
